Author: Lori Casto

Of course, God kept His promises. No weapon formed against us prospered and we built back better. Today at Wedgewood Estates we have a full Manor House census with a waiting list. We have an incredibly dedicated staff, many of whom were key to moving Wedgewood forward. I can’t stress enough how grateful I am for such an incredible staff.

We are honored and blessed. In September, we enter our 30th year of business. I brag on my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. “On Christ the Solid Rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.” “I can do all things, THROUGH CHRIST who gives me strength.” Apart from Him I can do nothing. His grace IS sufficient. His power IS made perfect in my weakness. His mercies ARE new every morning. He IS an ever-present help in times of trouble.

My son and daughter-in-law welcomed their first child, which made me a nonna. My daughter will begin her 2nd year of college next week. Randy and I are beginning a new business adventure. God had blessed our lives more than we could ever hope for or imagine.

Remember, you’re not alone. God is with you wherever you go. Don’t quit, no matter how attractive it seems. When times get tough, dig deep into God’s word. When you seek Him, He will be found. Don’t wait until you’re in the middle of a mess before beginning to build your relationship with Him. You may need to rely on the relationship you already built at first. Let Him lead. He knows best, even when it doesn’t make sense. He pulled me out of a pit.

He can do the same for you.

I had to cling to the promises God gave me in the middle of the covid nightmare to begin the process of moving forward. I needed to read, re-read, and meditate on Isaiah 54 often. When you get in a pit, it’s easy to feel like you’ll never get out. That’s how I felt. The longer we struggled, the more of a toll it took on me. Can you imagine being in a real pit and trying to make your way out? You try so hard to pull yourself out, but with each step you take, all you do is slip in the mud. You end up going deeper into the pit. I don’t think you can get out of the pit alone. The only one who can get you out is God.

Part of my struggle, on top of everything else, was unforgiveness. I was holding on tightly to unforgiveness with a white-knuckle grip. I don’t feel it’s important to go into what/who I needed to forgive. It’s irrelevant now. What I can tell you is that when you live with unforgiveness, you live in prison. It’s willfully drinking poison.

One of my hands held tightly to God’s promises, the other tightly held to unforgiveness. Unforgiveness became like a noose around my neck. The unforgiveness in my life became paralyzing. I was getting to the point I couldn’t even pray. I had to reach out to someone from my church to pray for me. It was scary. It’s something I never want to experience again.

The moment when complete freedom came was when I yelled out to God- “I forgive! I’m so sorry! Please forgive me for my unforgiveness.”

Just like that, chains came off and I was free! Sometimes you don’t truly know what bondage is, until you experience freedom. That was the beginning of my move forward. I’m also thankful for a small group at Storyside I was attending at the time. They may never know or understand how that was so helpful and important to my husband and me. I could now use BOTH hands to hold on to God’s promises.

Somewhere in the middle of everything that was going on, God gave me 2 promises to stand on:

1. No weapon formed against us would prosper
2. We would build back better.

The scripture He gave me to stand on began with Isaiah 54:17. I read that verse, then over the next several days He kept taking me through the chapter (Isaiah 54) backwards. It was a powerful time for me in the middle of the muck and mire. (As I write this, I’m re-reading this scripture. My heart can’t help but leap with praise.)

I wish I could tell you that during this mess, I waited patiently. I didn’t. I’m not patient. I waited because I had no other choice. It wouldn’t be true if I told you I completely trusted God every moment of every day, because I didn’t. I had moments of questions, doubt, worry and fear. As my husband often says… God’s address is wit’s end. My total and complete reliance on God came when I had no other options.

Here’s what I love about God- He works best- He’s the most powerful, in our weakness. Hallelujah! Thank the Lord because I have so many weaknesses! His word says, “When I am weak, He is strong.” “His power is made perfect in my Weakness.”

He has this amazing ability to take our brokenness and make it beautiful. We’re kind of like the broken shells you find on the beach. Once they’ve been stepped on and battered by waves, the shells break. They will never look the same. If you take a minute to really study them, you’ll see they are unique, special, and even more beautiful than they were whole. God also has a way of using our brokenness for His glory- if we let Him. There’s beauty in the broken.

I will wrap up with what I learned through the process and where God has brought us to.

The “outbreak” in our facility brought with it a host of ongoing, never-ending, tedious, heartbreaking issues. When I thought things couldn’t possibly get worse, December 10th, 2020, exactly 5 months after our “outbreak” my husband’s father died of covid. My father-in-law drove himself to the hospital on Thanksgiving night and never left. Everything happened quickly. It was surreal. Like most, we had a private family cemetery funeral.

My husband had obviously been under extreme pressure and stress before his dad died. He was handling it as well as anyone could under the circumstances. However, the death of his father was incredibly difficult. I think his death was our breaking point. My husband’s grief brought about intense anger in him, and I found myself trying to intercept things for him. I hated watching my husband go through such difficulty.

I felt responsible for him, our family, and Wedgewood. I felt more pressure than ever. I felt I needed to be strong for him, our family, the residents, the resident family members, and the staff. I was very used to running things past my father-in-law when I had concerns about the business. He was no longer around, and I didn’t want to bother my husband. None of it seemed real. People were quitting everything during that time. Do you remember? It was a “quitting pandemic.” Quitting seemed very attractive. I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad we didn’t.

Randy and I are a testimony of God’s grace, mercy, and provision. When I think of everything that occurred, I think of Psalm 40:1-4:

I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth— Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord. Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust, Psalm 40:1-4a

It’s been almost 6 years since my father-in-law’s passing. I will finish by telling you how God has moved us forward.

July 10, 2020, life changed. The fear I’d been living became reality. One person tested positive. Things were spiraling at a rapid pace. For one reason or another, we found ourselves with no overnight staff. Our office manager and activity director were filling in. Only one nurse remained. She was working days, not hours. It was a nightmare. Our dietary supervisor was working extra hours on our care team. There’s just too much to explain, and thinking about it feels tedious.

Randy and I were spending every waking minute trying to find staff to cover any shift. This went on for days and days. Randy was spending the night at Wedgewood in constant prayer, and I would stay home with Maria in constant prayer.

One night, Randy called me right around midnight. We began praying and praising. Randy was reminded of Paul and Silis in Jail praising the Lord in the midnight hour. I was reminded of a scripture God gave me at the beginning of lockdowns. I had been searching God’s word for relief & and God reminded me about “the power of praise.”

“The power of praise” …it just kept going through my mind…

I found myself reading 2 Chronicles 20. I started reading about a vast army that was coming against Jehoshaphat. The bible says Jehoshaphat feared.

He feared.

But he got the people of Judah together to seek The Lord. As Jehoshaphat prayed, he was telling God about all the things God had done for them…he named them in a list. I know he wasn’t telling God because God forgot…God already knows what He had done.

I believe Jehoshaphat was reminding himself and all the people what God had already done for them and who God is to build their own faith. As the people were gathered, The Spirit of God told the People… “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”

He goes on to give them further instruction and says…”You will not have to fight this battle!” It doesn’t end there…God’s instructions were clear…

“Get in position, stand firm, and see the deliverance The Lord will give you.” Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow and The Lord will be with you.” So, what does Jehoshaphat do? He has them get in position and appoints them to sing and praise! So, amongst all the singing and praising, The Lord set ambushes and the BATTLE WAS WON!

God knew what we were going to go through starting July 10th of 2020. He knew what was going to happen just around the first anniversary of my father’s death. He knew the trauma we were about to face. So, He gave me a scripture to stand on. He knew my faith would be tested. He knew my need for praising and singing. Did things change overnight? Did things align to perfection automatically? Not at all.

The next few years were extremely difficult. However, every single need we ever had God met. Every single need, every single time. It was never how I anticipated. It was always better. I’m reminded of one of my favorite scriptures… I was young and am now old, but I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken or His children begging bread… I know this to be true. I’ve lived it. God is faithful. God is powerful. God shows up in the midnight hour. Singing and praising The Lord is essential in the fire. To God be the glory.

I won’t forget it. I won’t forget the days, months, and years of sleepless night after sleepless night I experienced during covid. I would lie in bed at night hoping everything was going to be ok. I was praying our assisted living wouldn’t end up on the front page of a newspaper. I was praying each day we would have staff to care for our residents. If I did fall asleep, it was more than likely after crying my way there.

I was concerned for our residents who weren’t thriving because they were isolated in their rooms. I was hurt because of the people who I once had such wonderful relationships with now were blaming me for the pain they were feeling. I was angry because of the number of state surveyors who entered our building because of lies from people who were once our friends. I was devastated at the number of people who distanced themselves from us as though we were the problem.

The people, the pain, the pressure. The lies and rumors were unbearable. It was all more than I could manage. I hated that I was needed in our building while my daughter sat at home all by herself for hours. When I finally came home, I would take all my clothes off and wash them before entering the rest of the house. Our exercise room at work was converted into a PPE room. When everyone else opened up and life became “normal” for the rest of the world, healthcare was still struggling. It was as if we were forgotten.

On top of the stress of covid, my dad died months before and my father-in-law died in the midst. We were trying to manage grief… the heartache kind, while dealing with the pressures we were under. It took me years to be able to say we had 17 beds open. It is absolutely only by the grace of God our business survived.

That’s the beginning of my story.